There is no contraction for this pair of words. If you aren't worried about using slang you might use the term 'got' instead: rather than: "Have you an xxx?" try "Got an xxx?"
Some alternative words to use instead of "he" include: they, it, the person, the individual, one.
you can use or , otherwise, or rather than.
Have attain buy secure snag come by access receive acquire snatched sneaked
a or an
like
traitor
I like to use the word got as an active verb, as in: I got caught, or I got in; instead of as a passive verb, as in: she got engaged, or he got cancer.
Instead of the phrase "freaked out", try:stunnedstartledalarmedpanicked
Alternative words to use instead of "fake" could be artificial, counterfeit, synthetic, or imitation.
You could use words like us, we, our, ourselves.
smash