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First say wake up and SMELL the roses.

And then call them one of these names.

DOPE DORK DUMMY DUMBO DUMBELINA WACKO MR.POTATO DUDE

BORING PERSON WHO NEVER EVER EVER EVER LAUGHS

and if they still don't laugh tickle them to death and stare RIGHT into their eyes

answer b is - your girlfriend/wife and only counts if you are in the room at the time saying something funny

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Q: What do you call a person who will never laugh?
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