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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Oberon.
Oberon who?
Oberon the other bank you might try to catch some fish.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah's the winter of our discontent.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dogberry.
Dogberry who?
Dog bury a bone in my petunias again, dog get sent to the pound.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Julius Caesar who?
Julius, seize her! She's the one who stole my wallet!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The Earl of Oxford.
The Earl of Oxford who?
Exactly.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Wherefore means.
Wherefore means who?
No, "wherefore" means "why." How many times do we have to go over this?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Nay, answer me! Stand and unfold yourself.
Long live the king?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Laertes.
Laertes who?
Layer Ts and sweaters to stay dry and comfortable on the ski slopes.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The Nightingale.
The Nightingale who?
Ha! Fooled you! It's really the Lark.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Orlando.
Orlando who?
Or Lando or Leia or Luke or Chewbacca will pilot the Millennium Falcon.
Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Tom.
Tom who?
Tom R. O. and Tom R. O. and Tom R. O. We creep in this petty pace from day to day.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Shelly.
Shelly who?
Shelly compare thee to a summer's day?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hal.
Hal who?
Hal long until Henry IV dies and I can become king?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Gracie Zar.
Gracie Zar who?
Gracie Zar's Ghost!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Et.
Et who?
Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Caesar!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
Utah me language, and my profit on it is I know how to curse!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The cause, my soul.
The cause, my soul who?
Let me not name it to you!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Leon.
Leon who?
Leon Macduff.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Rosencrantz. No, wait, Guildenstern! *sigh*-let me get back to you.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Ferris.
Ferris who?
Ferris foul and foul is fair.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Lysander.
Lysander who?
Lie, Sander, and you'll get in trouble, Sander.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cordelia.
Cordelia who?
Oh, that's real nice, Daddy. I come all the way from France with an army to rescue you and that's the welcome I get.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Falstaff.
Falstaff who?
[Excessively Loud Belch]
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Will Shakespeare.
Will Shakespeare who?
Will Shakespeare or just stand there holding one as long as I get to be on stage.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Desdemona.
Desdemona who?
Nobody. I myself. Farewell.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Riese.
Riese who?
Riese and not the need.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
The Porter from Macbeth.
The Porter from Macbeth who?
The Porter from Macbeth, who wants to know how youlike it! Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock. Knock, Knock.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Chorus.
Interrupting . . .
O FOR A MUSE OF FIRE!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Demetrius.
Demetrius who?
Just try to Demetri us before we Demetri you!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hamlet.
Hamlet who?
Ham let Ophee fall in love with him.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Hamlet.
Hamlet who?
Hamlet the dogs out! (woof, woof woof woof...)
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Helena.
Helena who?
Helena handbasket is where this world seems to be going.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Pericles.
Pericles who?
Well, I know it's not Hamlet, but it's not thatunknown.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Rosaline.
Rosaline who?
Yeah, that's what Romeo said as soon as he saw Juliet.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Lloyd.
Lloyd who?
Lloyd, what fools these moytals be.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary, your manhood mew.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
William Shakespeare who?
William Shakespeare cans so they explode when you open them.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Richard the Third.
Interrupting Richard the . . .
HORSE!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?Amos shapen knave; his mother was a witch, and one so strong that could control the moon!
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Otis.
Otis who?
Otis too, too solid flesh! I wish it would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew!
Or . . .
Otis too true! How smart a lash that speech doth give my conscience.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mike.
Mike who?
Mike Ingdom for a horse.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toby.
Toby who?
Wait-sorry. Not Toby.
Make up your mind! Who's there?
Toby or not Toby, that is the question.
Our thanks for this guest post to kj, the author of Bardfilm. Bardfilm is a blog that comments on films, plays, and other matters related to Shakespeare.
at 11:40 AM
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest7 comments:kjsaid...
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
If.
If who?
If you have a knock-knock joke to share, post it here in the comments!
kj
12:03 PMAnonymous said...
Sorry, no knock knock joke, I just wanted to say I LOVED the interupting Chorus na dthe 'Et tu Brute." They were hilarious.
8:01 PMdocnicholas said...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Romeo.
Romeo who?
Ro' me over & scratch my tummy, please!
9:05 AMDuane Morinsaid...
On a related note, impressionist Jim Messkimen once asked me on Twitter whether a knock knock joke could be pieced together entirely out of quotes from Shakespeare plays. Here's what we came up with:
"Knock, knock." (Macbeth)
"Who's there?" (Hamlet)
"Dispatch, I prithee." (Winter's Tale)
"I prithee, who?" (As You Like It)
"I prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?" (Taming of the Shrew)
Hey, it fits the pattern, it counts. :-P
9:30 AMkjsaid...
Here's another, along the same lines (all of these are exact quotations from Shakespeare):
Knock Knock. (Macbeth)
Who's there? (Hamlet)
Who dares. (Cymbeline)
Who dares who? (Timon of Athens)
Who dares do more is none! (Macbeth)
Enjoy!
kj
9:41 AMOphelia said...
Those pieced-together jokes are great! I have one to go with the Oberon joke.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Titania.
Titania who?
Tie Tanya up outside; dogs are not allowed inside this store.
Also:
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nay, answer me...
No! I was answering your knock-knock joke, Francisco, not quizzing you on your cues.
2:41 PMOphelia said...
Oh, I just thought of something to say if anyone you really dislike ever starts to tell you a knock-knock joke.
Knock, knock.
Capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch, either get thee from the door or sit down at the hatch!
Or,
Knock, knock.
[To someone else] Go you, [person you're talking to]. If it is a suit from [person who's trying to tell you a knock-knock joke], I am sick or not at home; what you will, to dismiss it.
And I could probably keep coming up with weird Shakespeare references that have to do with knocking on doors all day, but then you would get bored. So that's all.
That is all i can find ;/
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Toby.
Toby who?
Toby or not toby, that is the question.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Shelley.
Shelley who?
Shelley compare thee to a summer's day.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
France who?
France Romans Countrymen lend me your ears.
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Tom
Tom who?
Tom Orrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day.
Add your answer:
Earn +20 pts
What are some good 'knock knock jokes that involve oats?
knock knockl ? who's there. Oats Oats Who OATS
What are some common funny jokes?
Here are a few 'popular' jokes, hope you like! . . . -There are two muffins in an oven and the first one says, "whoa, it's hot in here!" then the second one responds, "HOLY CRAP!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!" -Yo' mama sooo ugly that they filmed 'Gorrilas In The Mist' when she was in the showerr! ~OHHHHH BURNN~
Where can you find a very good knock knock joke?
You can find one very good knock knock joke in a special book called "Jokes to tell" by pocket pal. I t also has other things like riddles and Guess who. You can search stores such as walmart,target,and the 99 cent store. Many special ed kids get them for free and in hospitals to. THANK YOU! BY:JESSICA QUINTE
What are some good Mario knock knock jokes?
Oh, dude, Mario knock-knock jokes? Like, sure, I can totally help with that. Knock knock! Who's there? Mario. Mario who? Mario Kart is way better than real driving, am I right? Oh, and knock knock! Who's there? Luigi. Luigi who? Luigi can't handle how awesome Mario is!
Knock knock who there witch witch who?
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knock knock whos their MEE
What Are Some Valentine's Day Jokes?
knock knock who's there I I who I love you *kiss*
What are some jokes to tell your grandpa?
Knock Knock. Whos there? not your grandma. shes dead.
What are some good 'knock knock jokes that involve oats?
knock knockl ? who's there. Oats Oats Who OATS
What are some government knock knock jokes?
Knock Knock - Who's there? - The IRS. We are taking your house.' Another is 'Knock Knock - Who's there? - Stalin. - Stalin who? - Stalin for time!'
What are some jokes to tell to little kids?
knock knock whos there interupting cow inter... MOO!
What are good jokes for children?
Knock knock jokes are great jokes for children of all ages. Here are some favorites: Knock knock - Who's there? - Ya - Ya who? - I'm glad you're so excited! Knock knock - Who's there? - Boo - Boo who? - Well, you don't have to cry about it. Knock knock - Who's there? - Ash - Ash who? - Bless you. Knock knock - Who's there? - Who - Who who? - Is there an owl in there? Knock knock - Who's there? - Tank - Tank who? - You're welcome. Knock knock - Who's there? - Lettuce - Lettuce who? - Lettuce in and you'll find out. Knock knock - Who's there? - Nobel - Nobel who? - Nobel, that's why I knocked.
What are some funny jokes about Shakespeare?
How funny he looks!! heh heh!
What are some community nock nock jokes?
Knock knock who's there cham chowder cham chowder who i love cham chowder it's delicious
What are some common funny jokes?
Here are a few 'popular' jokes, hope you like! . . . -There are two muffins in an oven and the first one says, "whoa, it's hot in here!" then the second one responds, "HOLY CRAP!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!" -Yo' mama sooo ugly that they filmed 'Gorrilas In The Mist' when she was in the showerr! ~OHHHHH BURNN~
Websites about William Shakespeare?
search for 'William Shakespeare' in google could somebody please tell me some websites in which i then can find out about William Shakespeare
What are some red panda jokes?
knock knock whos there red red who furry red panda! thats who
