How do you confront a narcissistic rage?

Answer 1

First of all, remember the rage is not about you, it is about the narcissist. Everything is always about the narcissist. Once you operate from that standpoint it is easier to deal with the issue at hand. Do not try to reason or explain anything in hopes to calm the narcissist, this will likely only draw you further criticism and confrontation. Essentially, without obviously backing down and providing another opportunity for enragement, defuse by accepting the narcissists view for the moment. I am not saying you should actually agree, but for the sake of the moment, agree with the key points without appearing condescending. As soon as possible, remove yourself from the situation and remind yourself that a narcissist lives in an imaginary world of their own making, and within that world there is often no room for logic or another's viewpoint. It's not personal, even though it can feel exquisitely personal, it's about THEM. THEY cannot tolerate feeling whatever they are confronting - lack of control, embarrassment, boredom, etc. If you are a close intimate of a narcissist you provide the role of easy target for many varied disappointments. Have you noticed how you are suddenly quite powerful, somehow causing events not even remotely connected to you? Sure sign you are the whipping-person of a narcissist. Do not think you can change this person. You cannot. Get away while you are still sane.