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You have far more to lose emotionally and in every other way if you choose the affair. You know the answwer to this or you wouldn't have asked the question.

AnswerWith all due respect, if you can't decide who you love and want to be with, they would probably both be better off if you chose neither.

If either one of them made you truly happy you wouldn't be asking this question. Think about it. If you felt happy and fulfilled in your marriage, you wouldn't feel the need to cheat on your husband. And if your lover provided you with everything you felt your marriage was lacking, you would be trying to decide how to tell your husband that you want a divorce instead of trying to choose between him and someone else.

However, if you really need someone else to tell you what you should do...

Unless he's a real ogre, it's my personal opinion that you owe it to your husband to give up this other person and try to make your marriage work...but if he's such an ogre you wouldn't feel torn between him and someone else, right?

ANSWER:

First of all why do you want to choose between your husband and the man your having an affair with? Did your husband did something so bad that you decided to have the affair? If you don't have the love for your husband, I think it's time for you to let him go. He doesn't need all this pain from you. You can not choose who is the best or who is more loving. You are comparing your husband towards the man you had the affair, this is not fair towards your husband. You remind me of the man I married, comparing 2 different person is a no no to me.

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Q: How do you choose between your husband and your affair?
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