What does it mean when someone says the spark has gone?

Answer 1

Hey.

It's not your fault. Relationships usually start with a "honeymoon" period, during which the couple cannot see any flaws in each other. This period can last for 6 months or more. Then, one day you find yourself annoyed with the other person's body odor, or the way they squeeze the toothpaste tube, or something. This is when you either break up, or learn how to change what you can and live with the rest.

We are creatures of habit. We tend to get into ruts, to do things as we always have, and then we wonder why we're bored. "The thrill is gone" can mean you need to change the routine, possibly even talk to a couples counselor.

There is a HUGE difference between "the thrill is gone" and "I don't love you any more." The difference is that if the love is still there, the two of you will do what you must to keep the flame alive. Worst case? "The spark has gone" means that there is nothing good between you two any more, your spouse could be cheating or sleeping around, or your spouse got bored with you cuz s/he cant get into your pants or control you. If that's what's happening, remember the most important thing: it is not your fault, it's your spouse's, and s/he is a big jerk not to see what a wonderful person you are.