Squirrel monkeys are unlikely to trouble a human living in a city, or one who is sufficiently armed and savvy. The biggest danger an individual human will face from a squirrel monkey is that the primates are well known for stealing drinks from unwary people. If you are in a tropical region enjoying a drink on the beach, it is important to pay attention at all times to your beverage.
Squirrel monkeys are very sneaky and extremely practiced at stealing drinks; they particularly target fruity alcoholic beverages, or those containing mini-umbrellas. While one intoxicated monkey is unlikely to cause more trouble than a drunk human of equivalent size, in large groups intoxicated squirrel monkeys contribute to global climate change.
If your drink is taken by a squirrel monkey whom you suspect is already a bit on the go, you may be able to get it back by intimidation. Brandish your weapon at the thief, and it may relinquish the drink to avoid confrontation. However, many squirrel monkeys are proficient with balisong knives.
In their larval form, squirrel monkeys seek out warmth and tight spaces. They are small enough to infest your clothing if you do not bathe regularly or if you keep fruit on your body. If you have been infested with larval squirrel monkeys keep calm--a thorough shave and scouring with coconut should remove the problem.
Chat with our AI personalities