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The kid cant choose who they want to live with because they probably love the parents equally or they don't want to disappoint one parent by choosing another parent. Take it from me. I am a kid with divorced parents and there was a point when i had to choose and couldn't because my siblings and i were to young. My parents thought of and equally shared schedule.

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13y ago
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14y ago

Parents agreeing and coming to an agreement demonstrates and models the basis of a cooperative attitude to their children. Mom and Dad basically wanting the same thing for me instills the feeling that they have thoughtfully balanced immediate needs and wants with what behaviours they want to encourage in their children for the long hall big-picture. It also creates a gentle and peaceful place where children feel secure and know what standards of behaviour are expected of them.

Conversely when parents don't agree allot of healthy behaviours are not being modeled and if the parent disagreements are not worked out privately (out of the awareness of the children) children can feel the chaos and conflict that now surrounds them they are pulled into the power struggle the parents are embroiled in. They can feel significantly less secure and will miss important lessons about cooperative behaviour and what a loving relation ship looks like, fees like and I believe will manifest in their married and parental relationships. When good 'consideration for others' etiquette is not modeled daily children will understand "this is the way relationships work". It is "normal" for frequent quarrelling which can slip into abusive language.

I am of the belief that the repercussions of parents not agreeing or coming to a peaceful agreement privately and presenting a agreed way to deal with child nurturing and behaviour as well as consistently applied and gentle disciple 'most of the time' has vast and long lived negative consequences for their children their personal relationships and generations that follow. Just as if a mother tongue is not used and practiced, so too can proper behaviour be lost. When parents don't agree - frequently the lowest common denominator is what is passed along. Interesting phrase that ' lowest common denominator' - Doesn't that try to tell the story ( that which both can agree on - common - gets passed along.

Higher standards of acting and being are lost to the lower "agreeable standard." Everything from how we act , and more importantly think is diluted down. As parents we just have to get on the same page about what messages we write on the slates of our little ones ( That is actually a phrase borrowed from Dr Phil) Best of luck and good cooperative planning parents - our children deserve the best we can offer them - mixed messages and conflict can cripple them and their children, and their relationships as they live out what they have experienced and think CONFLICT MUST BE NORMAL. It is not ! And it is not healthy to belive it is so We will keep repeating the experience in the generations that follow.

Allan J

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12y ago

Some states allow it others don't.Like in Pa you have to have a reason why you would want to live there not oh dads better because he brings me places and my mom doesn't. No you have to have a real reason like mom/dad has a drinking problem.Like I said it depends where you live. Some allow you to choose at like age 13.

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15y ago

Well then the best thing to do is ask the child what they would like to do... after all they have to spend the rest of there time with that parent and they should be happy

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13y ago

They can mediate an agreement through their attorneys and submit it to the court for approval.

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Q: What if both parents agree with who gets custody?
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Both parents are fighting for full custody of a 4 year old daughter both are good parents how does a judge decide?

the judge will make a decsion that is best for the child but will probably let one parent get full custody and let the other parent visit the child. What could happen is that the court will award Joint Legal Custody to both parents - when that is elected, both parents must be involved in all legal matters (education, moving, etc.) and agree on those things. Unfortunately, one or the other parent has to be given Primary Custody and the other gets Visitation rights.


Who gets the custody of the child if the mother is having an affair in UK?

The court care about what is in the best interest of the children and just because one parents had an affair does not mean they are unfit to parent. It can be shared custody or one get it. The court wants the children to have access to both parents. The affair will not be the thing that decides custody.


The agreement between 2 parents is custody to mother but weekends for father if the mother dies who would get custody?

the father gets the custody of the child if the mother dies


Does your grandmother have to adopt you for you to live there without your mom or dad?

No, your parents can see to that she gets custody of you.


If parents die without arranging custody for their children and the parents of both parents want the children who gets them?

Good question. The likelihood is that Social Services will get involved and decide which set of parents is most suitable for them. If both sets are suitable then it may go to court for a decision.


What happens next after your child's mother gets served child custody papers?

After being served child custody papers, the mother typically has a certain amount of time to respond and either agree to the proposed custody arrangement or contest it in court. If the mother contests the custody arrangement, a court hearing will be scheduled where both parties can present their arguments and evidence before a judge makes a final decision on the custody arrangement.


Who has custody when both of the parents names are on the birth certificate?

Generally, if the parents are unmarried the mother has sole custody and control in most states until the father can establish his paternity. Once paternity is established in court, the father can request visitations or custody through the court. If the mother retains physical custody she can request that the court issue a child support order. If the father gets physical custody he can request a child support order.


If custody has not been established and both parents are living who gets the children?

research the law for your state. who ever the children are living with today is more than likely who they will be living with until it is established by the court.


What will a judge say when a non-custodial parent wants custody when the child turns 18?

After the child is aged 13 or so, if circumstances are similar and the parents agree, the child gets to choose. However, an 18 year old is really legally an adult.


Who gets minor children when parents die?

Close relatives or friends can get temporary custody until it gets permanent in court. Or they end up in foster care.


Who gets custody if both parents die but they are divorced and I live with my dad and my brother lives with my mom?

If a person is designated as the custodian in the parents' will(s), then that person is likely to be granted the custody. If however, there was no will, or no custodian specified in the will, then, then the court can appoint a custodian of its own choice. Usually, any of the relatives - uncles, aunts, grand parents, step parents, and even friends and strangers can apply for the custody. It is the responsibility of the court to choose the custodian. In case there are no will, or no custodian specified, and no petitions, then the court may put the children in foster care. This answer is actually independent of the marital status of the parents, and which child is living with whom at the time of the parents' death.


Who gets custody if both parents die but they are divorced and you live with your step mom?

I'm not absolutely sure but I think you would stay with your step mom. And if you are actually going through that, I'm very sorry for your loss.