How did a member of Gronk's tribe become the first astronaut?

Answer 1

And unfortunately, Powl was one of the members of the tribe. Powl was envious of all the talented people around him and he longed to emulate them, mainly because he too wanted a mate. He had seen the adoring looks cast toward the popular Gronk and Ogg, the envious glances toward Sheila and Rhonda. His object of affection was a rather nondescript person named Lucy. Now Lucy was like the rest of the females in the tribe, she also was envious of Sheila and Rhonda. Powl longed to impress the shy little Lucy with his own stroke of inventiveness suitable of greatness. One afternoon after the tribal hunt had ended, Powl sauntered off into the wilderness in deep despair over his problem. It wasn't that he was a total failure at the important business of staying alive; he was a competent hunter and a fine hand at cooperation. It was just that he did not stand out from the many single men who became attached to the tribe. In short, Lucy simply did not notice him as he wished to be noticed. He needed to do something impressive to gain favor with Lucy. While he strode through the untracked section of the wild, he realized that he was coming near the vicinity of Mt. Blarg. Remembering that awesome and fearful day that Blarg disappeared, he became more and more depressed. At least Blarg had a landmark named after him! Blarg had disappeared in a fearsome way that kept his name alive long after the viscious man had died. Powl looked at Mt. Blarg with ever deepening dispair. He resolved to end his life, to travel to the unknown. So he picked up the largest y'ron rock he could see and found that it was flatter than he could have imagined. Ordinarily he would have carried it back to Lucy to give to her, but on this day it was merely another implement in the quest to die. With his y'ron firmly in hand, he started the long trudge toward the volcano to seal his doom. He had crossed the dry section of the plain and was starting through the hot springs that was so popular with the ladies when he noticed a peculiar hissing noise. Finding no discernable predator who would make that noise, he neared the source of it...a rather nondescript mound of packed, damp earth. Since the sound had no meaning for him, he casually dropped the y'ron rock on the top and sat down. The warmth of the mud was soothing to his feet (he didn't think that 'shoes' were manly) and lightened his mood somewhat. Just as his mood was brightening a bit, the inevitable roar of the volcano began. He looked toward it and could see the glow of an impending eruption, but he did not know what an eruption was. As he watched the mouth of the volcano smoke, suddenly the hissing stopped and he was shot 300 feet in the air by the geyser he had sat on. The y'ron rock acted as a stabilizer for his mass and as he shot up, the volcano chose that moment to erupt. Gasses from the volcano caught his platform and boosted him even higher! The wonder of the tribe was enormous when they heard the rumbling. They looked in the direction of the volcano and saw something over the trees traveling straight up! As they watched, the y'ron rock achieved a trajectory which was unseen before. Powl was airborne for more than 40 minutes all together, for his unfortunate choice of sitting space had launched him into the airspace above. Lucy was one of the spectators of this amazing scene. She gawked like the rest of the tribe, but could not fathom what the (now rapidly) approaching object might be. Before she could react in panic, Powl dropped from the sky at her feet. Powl was slightly scorched and dazed, but otherwise he was in pretty good shape after his escapade. Rolling off his hunk of y'ron, he presented it to Lucy with a grand flourish. Lucy was so impressed with the immense new cooking implement that she blushed and accepted. This was the start of the beautiful romance that went down in tribal history. The history? As Powl walked away with Lucy, he was heard to mumble..."Lucy! Sky! Black, y'ron.." Diamonds weren't discovered until much later, although Lucy was the first to wear this special rock as an ornament. The Beatles didn't hear the whole story.