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I have a family member who was declared "palliative". I think this is different that being declared "terminal" though, in that is just means that there will be no cure for the patient.

This patient has the typical symptoms of an untreated HIV infection, but he does not believe that HIV/AIDS is real. I do not think that theory makes sense, but no matter, he has symptoms of illness and each of those symptoms could be treated without declaring HIV/AIDS.

I do not know how to comfort his mother. She came and got her son and brought him home with her, apparently to die, but that could take awhile. I think they both believe he is going to die pretty soon, and so they are both comfortable with some kind of euthenasia or suicide.

On the other hand, from what I can tell, the patient is probably exaggerating his illness a bit. He might not die "naturally" for months or years, who knows. When he made some sort of feeble attempt at slashing his wrists he did it in front of his mom when I was on the phone to them - does that sound to anyone else like it was not a serious suicide attempt, and that he was just saying "save me"? Surely he knows that dying from bleeding takes awhile and is messy, and therefore you have to be somewhere private, not in the kitchen standing up, in front of your mom with me on the phone.

I am conflicted between being a bit angry at the patient for doing that, and sympathy for his mom. As for the patient, I have a strange lack of emotion about him. I thought he was being so brave to reject the HIV meds based on his beliefs, but he is not showing much courage now.

This is all very messy and strange, isn't it? I hope this is all anonymous.

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Q: What emotional support to give family of palliative patient?
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