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I can answer this question with absolution because I am currently living it.!! My now ex friend of 3 years has all the traits of an N. She and I, about 6 months ago came to blows. I was so tired of the "poor me" always a victim, always feeling inferior, always- always feeling entitled, always admiring herself and looking for the same recognition in the eyes that she insisted were all on her..! Because I am a straight forward person for the most part I'd speak my mind but in a way I knew she could almost tolerate. Not this time. I blew my gasket after being mistreated for months. Her answering the phone with annoyance (she has caller ID) or almost disgust when I'd call, telling me to my face that she "f___ing" hates doing things like this" .. let me expand on that one - you'll love it.! There was a science fair at my children's school. I agreed to make lasagna for a dinner that night to help raise money. I made 3 Huge pans of it planning on cooking them at the school. Well, I found out THAT DAY that the school oven broke down! Great! I had only my regular oven at home and needed help! So, I managed to cook 2 - 2nd still cooking-- I called my friend who lives just seconds from the school and asked to use her oven! You might have thought I was asking for her limb! She finally agrees so I brought it over - put it in her oven myself and she agreed to bring it up when she and her daughter attend the science night. Well, as she brought it - put it down - it was then when her so colorful comment was made!! TO MY FACE!!! Talk about her making sure you feel the knife stick in!. Well more went on over time and I did not hold back.
Now, we are no longer friends and she has MADE SURE that she has bent the ear of all same acquaintances of how mean and nasty I was to her "out of the blue!". How she did absolutely nothing to deserve that treatment and so on.... She has befriended another person at the school now and LOVES to come up and whisper... She has instructed her daughter (who had been best friends with my 2 kids) not to make eye contact with us, not to associate with us! This poor girl is 10 yrs old!! She has to live the nightmare of her mothers Jekyll and Hyde tantrums..! She has gone so far (I'm just finding out now) as to - over the last 6 months - go to the office at the school and make nice and all then slam me during her yet again "poor me" stories. I've been told she has gotten so wound up and her vulgarity is not hidden that she has created a bad name for herself up there ---- BUT THINKS THEY ALL JUST LOVE HER..!!! She truly believes they are all siding with her.
I say nothing. I do not discuss anything about our fall out because it's not the place to air your issues. As crazy as this may seem, a couple months back I did apologize for my poor decision of saying all the things I said via email.. I know I could have handled it on a better level but my anger was pushed to it's limit! I know that anger is not the excuse for poor judgment so I apologized. Well, time passed... nothing. No apology, no recognition of mine... All she could say was She did Nothing Wrong! N's will not admit to wrongdoing - because they do not see it! They will NOT apologize, they do nothing wrong!
BE CAREFUL when dealing with a pissed off N! Her latest stunt was again at the school. She went to the office, remember - where they "love" her, and pitched a fit WITH HER DAUGHTER BY HER SIDE talking all kinds of smack about me - using fowl language etc... because I did not bring to the school and leave for her an item she "gave" to me a year ago! Now that we're not friends - she insists it was never meant for me to keep and she demanded it back! Well, she called - we went back and forth and I said I'd bring it to her. (Now, during this call she made sure she told me that "she was done with me months ago - prior to the fall out!") She did not want me near her house so told me to just leave it at the school. Well, I said I would but never said when. The very next day she checked w/the office, when she found it was not there yet she pitched a fit that dropped all their jaws. They were mortified that she would speak the way she did in front of her 10 yr old daughter let alone in a place of business. She went on how she was wronged, I was a non stop problem for her, I was seriously disturbed and so on... As she left the building, I was just walking in! How's that for timing..! She stopped - with daughter behind her looking just horrified! - and said very confrontationally - "where's my item?" I was not about to give her the satisfaction of an argument. I said I did not bring it up yet and that I'd bring it tomorrow. As I walked maybe 2 steps away from her she said "Well it should have been here today!" I said nothing and continued to walk ... She ended that note by shouting for me to "F- Off!" With such "your nothing" in her voice. IN FRONT OF HER DAUGHTER! This really really sits wrong with me. Children of an N suffer greatly. I feel for her.
Anyway - it is not nice. The treatment is just horrible. Unfortunately, she truly believes my every waking moment is thinking of her as well as she's convinced herslef as well as others who are lured in by her that my every move is to inflict some kind of "bad" against her. SHE COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG! I am done with her and will never look back! I just hope she can eventually move on as well and just zip her lips! It's pathetic!
N's will stab you and stab you. They are vicious, when you dare to accuse them of wrong doing, they are bitter, nasty, vengeful and literally will make sure they make your life a living hell.! It seems the more she see's I've moved on and I'm happy vs. crying over our loss of friendship, the more it enrages her. I remain quiet and away, she remains talking about me and building herself up on this high pedistal with her new found victim! Very .... Very Sad!
He (or she) probably doesn't have a wife and/or a husband, due to the fact that they only love themselves.
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Unfortunately some do, as another contributor here has said of her marriage to one, making the relationship an unhappy sham.
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How can you make a narcissist love you?
Act pyscho or sumthing act crazy or be you and move on figure it out
If a narcissist turns into a malignant narcissist can they loose their charm then act only monotone and passive?
They don't "turn into" a destructive narcissist... they just drop the "nice guy" facade they used to lure you in.
Can relationship make you a narcissist?
not so much a narcissist but for sure you will notice in hindsight that you were beginning to act like those morons do.......a co-dependent
Does explaining to a Narcissist how they act and how dysfunctional they are help them to change?
Best guess, it can. There is no other way for a true narcissist to be aware of issues within him or herself.
Can a narcissist be sentimental?
No. He can wish for his "glory days" and ACT sentimental. But he is incapable of feeling it.
Are narcissist paralyzed emotionally?
Not paralyzed -- devoid. They only ACT like they have emotions.
Why does a narcissist want to keep surprising you but will never act according to your expectation?
They feed off of YOUR reactions.
How will a narcissist act once they know that you love them?
They will start to degrade and abuse you worse than ever. Get away!
How should i act if approached by ex narcissist and you dont want anything to do with him?
Blank him (or her). They can't stand being ignored.
If you completely ignore a narcissist will he act as if you are superior to him and subsequently behave himself?
Again, narcissism is a rare and serious diagnosed personality disorder, not a label. By nature of the disorder a true narcissist wouldn't think anyone is superior to him.
Why does an ex-narcissist compete for attention from their ex in terms of trying to act as if their life is interesting and successful?
There is no such things as an ex-narcissist.
What traits would disprove that someone has narcissistic personality disorder?
It's difficult to prove a negative. If a narcissist finds out some of those characteristics, all he has to do is be a good actor. Not being a narcissist is the only quality one could have to prove one is not a narcissist. There is no act a person can perform or one thing a person can do that would prove once and for all that the person is not and never has been and never will be a narcissist. Yet all the same, if you are not a narcissist, other people will recognize this fact, just as if you are, that too will come to light. Empathy. Narcissist's do not posess it nor do they understand it.
