How can you combat your mental instabilities?

Answer 1

I asked this question and this is my description on how I feel:

Hi,

I'm a 17 year old junior and i need some serious help.

Now I have read a lot of places that this may be hormones, but I don't care - this is important to me.

So, I have been very into music ever since i can remember. I play three instruments and I plan on attending a specialty college for sound engineering and music production 0 maybe becoming an artist later on in life. Music is my life. Every emotion I feel is done so by a song or a melody or pattern i hear or or replay in my head. I tend to over think everything, I have a bad case of OCD, (wring correction and perfectionist), and I have ADD.

Let me start off by saying, im not a weird kid. I have friends and I talk to people and hang out with them and all that jazz. I wouldn't necessarily choose to do that regularly, but i want to fit in - and i do it well. I am a very closed minded individual when it comes to drugs - i smoke weed maybe once a weekend though, and i don't try many new things.

I have too high of expectations for the music I try to make. When I sit down to make a song, I get so pissed off I feel like sitting there and doing nothing - which happens a lot. I have a feeling like, I could never make a song as great as the ones my favorite music artists (Damon albarn of the Gorillaz, danger mouse, the shins, so on) make. I feel like they have done everything there is to do and I could never make anything better or even close to what they did.

I mean, i honestly cant even listen to my favorite songs because i become so upset with myself. Im a really self conscious kid with really high expectations and overly mature views and reactions to everything. I do these weird knacks that piss me off - like look at a word and say it about 20 times until i say it correctly, I HAVE to finish the thing I'm doing or do it 100% correctly before I can move on I and grind me teeth on one side the same as the other and make sure my eyes are open the same amount and i have horrible posture so that's something to constantly think about. Im just so self conscious about so many things that I cant pay attention anywhere else.

I also feel like i am running out of time. Everything i do is rushed. Im only 17, but i feel like ill be out into the real world in no time and I have no reference to see if my music is any good. I mean, i get so sidetracked that i cant even finish a single song!

I feel like my biggest problem is my inability (or believed inability) to create music like my idols, and that is because i am so focused on appeasing my self conscious ways.

I have been struggling with this for almost two years and it keeps getting worse every day. I hate to brag, but i feel like i have what it takes to make it, but i lack the peace of mind to follow through with anything musical.

i am very indecisive when it comes to anything, mostly what sound for my music i want and constantly trying to sound like someone else. i don't know how to just, let that go?

Im not obsessed with Damon the person, im obsessed with figuring out how he does it mentally.

When I listen to Damon Albarn's music, It fills in the mental space where my peace of musical mind should be, and i feel so dependent on it and i feel like i cant make anything that could fit there too.

i wanna add that im NOT depressed in a sense of, "cutting my wrists and hating life". I just cant handle the stress that my OCD packs onto of my over analyzing of every situation - mostly life in general, not just music. but that is effecting what i can do musically and how much mental ability i can put forth to it.

There is more to say, but I can't put it into words - so ill leave it at that.

By the way, Im listening to "The Bunting Song" by, The Good The Bad And The Queen - one of Damon's bands.