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Gaslight: To manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity
Gaslighting is an act of desperation. The narcissist needs you to stay confused, so he will say and do what he can to keep you unsure of yourself. That way he can manipulate you and keep you where he wants you.
To get to the heart of the question, "Do they know they are using gaslighting tactics on their victim?"
In a state of desperation, they are just acting out. I believe it is impulsive for them. It is a survival technique for a narcissist. They are so concerned with their self that there is no question or consciousness that drives them from not doing it. They have NO empathy for the victim. Do they know it happened? Most definitely, in a very twisted fashion. In a twisted way, they seem to believe their own version of the distorted reality. They go out of their way to assassinate the victim's character. They will try to control the situation in such a way that the person who was gaslighted is kept away from other associates in the narcissist's world.
Check out the movie Gaslight. The antagonist definitely knows what he is doing. He is doing it to save his own face.
No.. because they are always right.
Absolutely- they know when to turn up the heat and when to pull back- its all about control and they will do whatever they have to do to get it and then hold on to it
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New answer.
A narcissist does not care. They have no sense of remorse, for every thing bad they do, it is only a reason to blame you for it. And no matter how good , loyal, hard working you are. They will cheat , leave you in a blink of an eye. Unless you are constantly , doing what they want. My wife is a narcissist, I worked same job for 12 years , 6 days a week , 60 hours. We would always fight, and I would always say , I'm sorry. Even when I thought I was right, just to end the argument. If you are with a narcissist , get out now!. I am sucked in , I feel I have to take care of my wife. As soon as I start to let go of her, she tells me how bad I made her life, how she wants to kill herself. When I am doing for her , she will act as if she is happy. A narcissist has the shortest memory in the world. They will remember every mistake you ever made, but will not remember what ever it was you did good for them. Every doubt you have in your mind , believe me is probably true. I have busted my wife in lie after lie. Still I chase this woman. Don't become pathetic ... Run
Yes they do by experience,but i am sure a cerebral narcissist knows the term gaslighting and knows he is using it.
What is 'gaslighting' in that context? New Answer-Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that is used by narcissists that is very subtle and difficult to pinpoint.It works by creating confusion. If you are being gaslighted you lose trust in your senses,identity and common environment. The narcissist will tell you what you are feeling and thinking, when the narcissist creates some incident will be your fault, a merely perception based on your so called unstable emotions.
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Should you expose a narcissist to their spouse if they are having an affair with your spouse?
Just because this person is a narcissist doesn't make then much different than anyone else cheating with your spouse and you should be more concerned about your spouse cheating. By all means sit down with the narcissists spouse and tell the whole story, but be sure you have absolute proof before doing so. Don't be surprised if the narcissist's spouse becomes angry and is denial, but, in time the spouse will become to believe it.
Has any spouse of a Narcissist ever felt that their spouse was flirting with other women in front of them?
Well of course. That's a how a narcissist valids himself.
Is it rude to ask what your spouse does for a living?
Definately not! You have a right to know what your spoue is doing.
Can a narcissist get married?
Sure. The question is - does the spouse-wanna-be want to stay abused & miserable for the rest of their life.
What do you do when you know your spouse is cheating but they dont know you know?
* Be very sure you do know your spouse is cheating on you before accusations start flying. If you know for sure then you need to start communicating with your spouse and let them know you are fully aware of what they are doing and you refuse to put up with it. It will be your decision alone to decide whether to stay with your spouse or leave them.
Is there such thing as an innocent spouse?
"Yes. I believe in an innocent spouse. I do agree there are some in relationships that do not cheat and abuse their spouse. They should be commended for doing so. I know it's hard to believe, but to believe is to conquer."
The narcissist husband has asked for divorce and actually filed papers asking spouse to pay for it How do you handle this?
Call an attourney.
Would a compensatory narcissist have a second successful marriage?
A compensatory narcissist would not be able to have a successful second marriage. This is because they would always be craving praise while belittling their spouse to make themselves feel better.
Does someone Narcissistic personality disorder know what they are doing?
Yes and no. They know when they want to. Every human being knows right from wrong, it's what they choose to do. If your actually addicted, you know what you are doing, but it's your choice to quit. I know that I have a problem, but choose to do nothing about it.
It is best to ignored a narcissist?
Yes it is......... I know from experience
Can a narcissist handle rejection?
No because rejection means you know who and what they really are and know all their true self. They think they are god and that one cannot live without them. They believe that you are the one who needs them, when in reality it is the other way around. Once a narcissist always a narcissist. They cannot change
Is it possible and if so how can the narcissistic traits of a spouse be pointed out in a very casual way so that those not familiar with narcissism start seeing that there is something wrong with him?
Well, you may want to not say things like, "See what he's doing now? That PROVES he's a narcissist!" You can't hand everyone a book on narcissim and have people check off items as they see them. Yes, I'm being a bit silly here, but don't do anything that will undermine your credibility or make you look like the one with the problem! Go about it another way.Start pointing out (to them) things that he's doing. For example, narcissists love to play mind games, lie, cheat, tear apart your self esteem, etc. You need to point those things out to your family because whether those fall under narcissistic traits or not, they'll know that something is wrong with him. If he is being mean to you, they need to know that. Do NOT put a psychological name (narcissist) on it. Just start letting them know what your spouse is doing that is causing you concern. Once you start telling family members what he (or she) is doing, then you can start laying the groundwork of putting a name to what is wrong. Abuse is abuse. Whether they reconginze your spouse as a narcissist, sociopath or just someone having a bad couple of months, they will at least know the abuse exists.Your second problem is if (best case scenario) everyone realizes that he or she is a narcissist. THEN what? You can't "force" someone to change or get help and you can't stage an intervention with the narcissist.Which leads me to your biggest problem: You are living with a narcissist. The problem here is not showing everyone else who your spouse is. The problem is that you are living the very painful life of being married to a narcissist. There is a very, very high liklihood that this person wont' change -- whether the family is involved or not. And if you were to break up and get back together, after a brief "honeymoon" period, the narcissist will treat you worse than they did in the first place. You need to evaulate what is best for you and not for the narcissist or his or her family.My heart goes out to you. Good luck.~ TAnswerI am struggling with this myself. The answer above was helpful. I agree that if you are living with the narcissist, get out, and live as far away as possible. Make it inconvenient and expensive to come and see you, and a narcissist won't do it. However, assuming the spouse has gotten out, a person with a normal sense of empathy will think, "Should I tell the other people involved?" There's the mother, the brother, the new girlfriend, the sadly neglected new girlfriend's child...the mutual friends you had in common that he keeps abusing and upsetting... The question I am posing is whether it is your duty or not to tell other people involved that this person you know and love, but that keeps hurting you, is doing it because he has narcissist personality disorder.I know it won't help the narcissist. I couldn't care less what happens to the narcissist. But will it help the other people involved if they know the truth and can accept it? Will it help them deal, will it help them get out? Will it inform their decisions?It is a particularly hard decision whether I should tell his mother or not.ANSWERmy "narcs" parents often mentioned they were concerned about him, it made things worse as he wouldn't speak to them about anything, saying they just wouldn't understand. the last time they brought up their concern i tried to explain what it was, but it frightened them so much, they phoned and told him all that id said and denied saying anything themselves. it caused so many problems between all of us, i wish i hadnt bothered!his father died last year, and since then he has just fobbed his mom off with false excuses and even bigger lies.he caused rows and tension between me and his mom, then told me she didnt want me anywhere near. i found out later he had actually told her (and all his friends) that we had finished! they will lie and go to any length to protect their narcissism, and to make sure their false self is never exposed.i hope there is a way to tell them and point out the traits, but i havent found how to yet! i think that due to the nature of this dissorder if he was exposed he would just start again elsewhere!
