Can narcissists be in caregiver situations?

Answer 1

In general, people with narcissistic personality issues may be too self-absorbed and manipulative to give a person needing the assistance of a caregiver, the emotional support they need. The DSM IV identifies people with this disorder as being unable or unwilling to identify with the feelings and needs of others.

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Though the above may be true, narcissists also desire information over others and their admiration, a place of stature and a well-paid job and associate by what they feel are important people. Being a psychiatrist, psychologist will certainly provide that but even at lower level it can be provided.

Think of all the people that will highlight their greatness, their humanity, the most self-less that you ever met? Admiration takes many forms and more money can be made by the confidential information provided to them or outside the primary job. Don't dismiss a direct access to a pool of admirers and potential toys (read humans) to play with at work or come running to them because they portray responsibility and care. They even learn how to abuse better. It's a perfect fit and hide-out.

My former husband, also an Asperger, showed many narcissistic traits and worked as care-giver at low level. A former psychologist appears a stealth-narcissist to me. The things he said and did, dismisses and imposed on me are mind-wrecking. I'm composing a complaint against him. Luckily, he wasn't my only source of information and I recognized traits from my family in him, I kept my distance.

I was home-trained in Narcissism, my mother as the biggest one without shame or guilt, my father I remember too little of before he died but do remember him always trying to impress others and often at my expense. My brother was 'normal' during his youth with only slight bullying, after our father died, he went his way. He graduated in psychology. The friend of my mother who lived for years with us also studied psychology but quit, he had no problems beating up an 8-year-old like me,

he was so loved by his family. I suspect all of them.

My son, showed signs at stressed times and I guess I stayed too long with my family but since I realize this pattern last summer, we spoke and he's taking up therapy. That makes me very happy.

And I too can finally lay to rest what I mistook as ' normal' but never felt like me and focus on other trauma's that occurred in my life. I am an empathic, responsible care-giver by nature and though I hate when people beg, plead and praise my help, a 'thank you', is nice but not a necessity. Some need help that reveals itself only later to them, some are too far gone and/or are otherwise consumed with themselves. That however is not narcissism by definition, that can go once the situation is resolved, look more if someone is willing to resolve it.

I find the contempt, the lack of inner morality, the lies, malignant manipulation, the constant need for praise, the reverence of outward appearances, the inability to be alone, the unwillingness to resolve issues, more revealing as traits.

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