Why doesn't my husband want to sleep with me?

Answer 1

There are many potential reasons for a problem such as this. Without more information it is not possible to be sure. If you are both committed to restoring your attraction, you should seek some professional help.

Answer 2

There are numerous things that could be the reason for this. Some men experience a decreased sex drive as they age, and some just don't have a high sex drive to begin with. That doesn't mean they don't love their wife, it's just their physical makeup. But if he's still a young man, and if he did once want to sleep with you more often, there could be many causes for that, too. One cause could be erectile dysfunction (ED), which needs to be evaluated, diagnosed, and treated by his doctor. If that's what it is, there are various things that can cause that, so the treatment for it would depend on the cause.

Some other causes can be stress, some of which can be: Does he have a stressful job? Does he work long hours? Are there problems with the family (yours or his)? Are you having financial problems? Are you and he having problems? The list can go on and on, and any of these can be very stressful, and can result in less interest in sex. Talk to him and let him know you are there for him, and that he can talk to you about anything that may be worrying him. And if it is stress or worrrying about something, then just talking about it with you can often be a huge help for him, and help him to unload that burden he's carrying around with him.

Some men tend to keep problems and stress to themselves, thinking it's not 'manly' to talk about problems or things that are worrying them, so you may have to use tact to get him to open up to you. But once he does, just knowing that you are there for him, to listen and help in what ever way he needs, and to help cary that burden, can even bring you and him closer to each other. And sometimes, that alone can result in more intimacy.

Does he drink excessively? Alcohol can definitely decrease his sex drive, so if he does drink a lot, you need to talk to him about it and get him into some sort of treatment program.

Another possibility is depression, which is a disease that affects millions of people every year, and can be devastating if not treated. There are many different types of treatment for depression, but his doctor will know which one would be the best one for him.

There are many other medical conditions which can cause this, so he may need a complete physical exam to determine just what the cause is. And if he seems embarrassed to discuss this with a doctor (as many men are), reassure him that millions of men suffer a loss of sex drive every year due to medical problems, which is nothing to be embarrassed about. But even more importantly, explain to him the importance of finding out if he does have some sort of underlying health condition.

Have you recently had a baby? Some men actually do have less desire for sex after their first baby is born, feeling as though the baby comes first in all things, and that he no longer is important to you. Of course, a baby's needs do come first, but there are times when it's ok to be with your husband instead of running to the baby every time it whimpers.

Please, do not jump to this conclusion and assume this is what's causing it, but since it can be a possibility, it has to be mentioned. And that is the possibility that he is involved with someone else. Has he changed in any other ways, such as taking more care in his appearance? Is he suddenly working longer hours, yet he's not at work if you call him there? Does he get phone calls that strike you as odd or suspicious? Does he keep his cell phone or the cell phone bill where you can't see them? Does he spend more time on the internet, but closes the site he's on if you enter the room? Does he spend more money lately that he can't account for? Is he less affectionate with you outside the bedroom? Does he tell you he loves you less than he used to?

If the answers to the above questions lead you to believe that is what's going on, then you need to talk to him. But before you do, make sure you're prepared for the truth. If you aren't prepared, then wait until you are before bringing it up with him.

And when you do bring it up to him, don't do it in an accusing way, as if you are sure that's what he's doing, because you could be wrong. Give him a chance to explain anything you may find suspicious.

But no matter what the cause of it, the first step is communication. You have to get him to talk to you, and to really open up with you. Until you do, you won't get to the cause of it, which could result in you becoming resentful or feeling it's your fault, even when it's not. You know your husband better than anyone else does, so only you know the answers to the above questions as to the possibilities. Just be sure to keep a loving, caring tone when you do talk to him, and pick a good time to bring it up with him. And then take it from there.

Answer 3

Well their could be many different reasons. Are you in a good marriage? Explain more.