What do you do if your kid wants to be a goth?

Answer 1

Nothing, there is nothing wrong with goths in general. If they start getting depressed etcetera then do something about that, but being a goth is just about clothing for some.

I know some very happy goths that are exactly the same after becoming one as they were beforehand.

The Real ProblemJust let them if you want to worry about something, don't let them be emo. Gothic is a very religious group of people. why do you think you call the churches Gothic architecture. To days modern people get stereotypes mixed up. Emo people are the ones who are dark, and talk about death all the time. BE Concerned over what type of goth your child isThere are two types of Goth teens. One is wanting to belong to a group dressed the same and wanting to make a statement to their peers in particular high school. These teens are more into the fashion of Goth and feel they fit in with their group rather than taking possible harassing from their peers in high schools. Then there is the other type Goth as the poster above mentioned. It could well be a cult, animal sacrifices, oaths taken and not broken, thinking of death, dying and the world in general is one big mess with no future. The Columbine School unfortunate incident was Goth related (but, it's important to remember the person that did this did so by his own willpower. It's noted that many school shootings are directed at bulling.

It's wise to question your teen to find out why they want to wear Goth fashion. Ask them questions about how they see their school peers, what they think of the world in general and you be the judge of whether they become Goth or not. Unfortunately, you can't watch them 24/7 and they may well dress in Goth clothing and make-up once they leave home and you are not in control.

If your child wants to dress up in Goth fashion then let them try it, but if you hear them listening to depressing music, being on the computer talking about death, killing, maiming, fear-mongering then you have a problem!

To Answer Your QuestionThe genuine gothic scene is not what most people associate with the term "goth". By my estimates, at least 95% of the general public use the term "goth" (in the modern sense) incorrectly. Gothic rock has limited mainstream appeal, but many teens who want to stand out identify with the striking aesthetics associated with the gothic scene. Since we, as humans, are visually oriented creatures, we chiefly identify things by their appearance. Since the look is popular, and the music is not, public image of the gothic scene has fallen to the majority.

Due to the frequent misuse of the term "goth", it is very unlikely that your child holds an interest in this subculture. It is more likely that he or she is interested in either a modern metal scene, or what has inappropriately been labeled "emo" (a genre even more misidentified than gothic rock).

While there is a degree of anger involved in the various "alternative metal" scenes (which are not part of the gothic scene), this in of itself should not be cause for alarm (I myself listen to industrial metal from time to time, which is very aggressive music; yet I am a pacifist vegetarian who would literally not hurt a fly.) While music is considered by many to be an intrinsic part of our daily lives, it does not define us, nor does it shape us as strongly as many politicians and preachers would have us believe.

If you are asking this question out of concern for your child's emotional and physical wellbeing, then I'd recommend taking the time to sit with your child, and talk to him or her. Attempt to understand your child, but don't try to identify with them directly (i.e. stating "this music is really cool," would be a mistake. Every generation attempts to relate to their offspring by identifying with their music, and style, while forgetting how they themselves felt as their parents did the same to them decades earlier).

Answer

I now feel I must take the time to address the factual errors stated by my predecessors. There is no religion associated with goths, the gothic subculture is centered around various forms of artistic expression, not a theological common ground.

The emo scene was not necessarily about the dark side of existence (which is more associated with the gothic scene, but not in any hateful way). Emo was a sub-genre of hardcore punk which emerged in the 80's which (like gothic rock) was more emotional, and less political than it's punk forefathers, but goth and emo are distinctly separate. Today the term emo is used incorrectly to label a new breed of emotionally oriented pop bands with vaguely punkish undertones.

Animal mutilations are the last thing I'd associate with the gothic scene.

Finally, goths were not involved in the Columbine incident, this is a fallacious claim made by the media who simply saw the black clothes, and assumed they were goths. Those who sought an effigy for the massacre blamed Marilyn Manson (which is ironic due to the fact that Manson is not a gothic artist, and the Columbine killers were not fans of his music).

Good Answer

NEVER met a NICER group of people than goths! There are bad people in the world, yes, but there is no reason to say there are only two types of goth teens! I was goth as a teen, but with NO goth culture, just style. I LOVE music about death, it makes me happy, yet I am NOT going to go kill people.

As for the original question, support them, talk to them, say "that looks nice on you" even if it is not your style (my mom still uses "that is... interesting"). Just be there for them, alienating your teen is a bad idea.