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What is the path I should take when my grandmother's old-fashioned ideas such as abstinence until marriage seemed antediluvian to me I discovered many modern thinkers who agreed with her?
Up until the 60's most young people did not live together and many did not engage in a sexual relationship before marriage (although secretly there were some that did) but, back then if young women got pregnant they were hustled away to another town where an aunt may live to have the baby and some pregnant girls were sent to homes for unwed mothers as it was a blight against the young woman and she was considered a 'bad girl.' When the 1960's rolled in with 'love and peace and let it all hang out' came sexual freedom and although sex should never be considered ugly it was always meant to be beautiful and saved for the true person one loved because the act of love making is as close as you can get to sharing your love with that person as well as producing children. Another way to put what your grandmother is saying is that if you have sex before marriage the anticipation is gone and it is anticipation of looking forward to something special that truly excites a person. If a person has premarital sex before marriage then what is new? It's like having a wrapped box with a big bow on it, but you already know what the gift is. That is why so many young people get bored quickly in relationships; there are just no wonderful surprises left. More and more young people are practicing abstinence (not having sex with the person they love) and some make it through this transition and some do not and it depends if the couple are able to control themselves and are serious minded about not having sex before marriage. However, in order to do this there should be a wedding date set within a year or less. It is always worth trying out abstinence to see if it is for that individual and if not, then the person should not feel guilty, but make better choices with whom they choose to have sex with because of sexually transmitted diseases. Grandmothers are not always old fashioned, but simply experienced life and gained wisdom.
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