How to handle it when the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over?

Answer 1

I'm impressed with you as you tapped into "the honeymoon is over" so you're one smart, caring guy. It's normal! Don't EVER think this means that life is over between you and be mature enough to work with your girlfriend or wife to spice up your lives. People make the biggest mistake by thinking that sex is #1, but in reality it isn't at all. If you are in tune with each other (takes practice) then sex comes along naturally, not the other way around. When we meet that person we truly love the fireworks go off and you can feel like you're walking on a cloud and the world is magical. Colors, smells, and even your own persona changes into magic. Dating is wonderful, but, after a few years of going together it can become stale very easily if you don't work on it and it's only because you are becoming very familiar with each other. There is none of that magic of "the chase" of landing that person. It happens to most of us and is quite normal. Getting married is a big adjustment because you have to get use to each other's habits and learning how to share things with each other. Then along come children and that's a full time job, not to mention even harder if the mother has to work. Both partners can be tired in the evening and sex begins to slide down to the bottom of the list. Make your weekends count! Pick a day you both spend with each other or the kids and have a blast. Then on a Saturday night go clubbing, have a romantic dinner or go for a simple walk on the beach and watch the sun set. It's about the quality of time you put into each other and it's nice to keep reminding each other you still love that person. Women love to be appreciated not only for their appearance, but the fact they are smart and do have a brain and there is much more to them than being attractive, having babies, etc. Give her some flowers once in awhile or a piece of jewelry (something special and it doesn't have to super expensive.) Sometimes just cuddling up together (without mauling her) and listening to music is a wonderful romantic way to spend an evening. Sex doesn't always have to enter into it. The thing to do is not to always be together every minute of every day. Each of you should have other interests or see friends. Sometimes dating with another couple is more fun too and keeps you on your toes. Nothing really has changed between you and the more you are together the closer mentally and soul-wise you should become. We learn from each other and we learn each other's dislikes, our strengths and weakness' and a couple (young or older) should tap into the weakness' of the other person and just be there to pick up the pieces. Instead of going to a movie every Saturday night or meeting the same old friends every weekend spread yourself out. Decide on something else that you are both interested in. Don't be afraid to miss the odd weekend with each other because "absence DOES make the heart grow fonder." Sometimes we just don't know how good we have it until it's not there anymore. Often people with kids will say, "Well, we can't afford a baby-sitter." Not true. If you work on it either a member of the family will baby-sit for you, or you can do a "trade-off" with friends and no money exchanges hands. I don't have children, but I have baby-sat many times to give our friends a break from their kids and never charged them and I enjoyed the kids. Good luck Marcy

Answer 2

Talk to your new spouse.