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You cannot become an actual vampire in real life. It is physically impossible for humans to become creatures that can suck blood with their teeth. What you think you are is a completely different matter. Eight years of elementary school. Four years of high school. Music lessons, psychiatrists, orthodontists, dentists, little league and church and the best the kid can aspire to is a vampire. Where did we go wrong?

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Q: Can you become a vampire if you want to?
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