What is the concept of the middle crisis and the change of life?

Answer 1

There are several age crisis in a human life, most common the 30th year life crisis and the more known middle age crisis.

The crisis comes to a person when she or he is at a verge of change and is caught in the between of accepting the change or not accepting the change.

The 30th birthday (do not know what it is called in english) crisis often spurs from one re-evaluating one's life so far. The individual goes into crisis if she/he thinks her life has not gone to the route that was expected, he/she is not happy with her achievements in life so far etc. Usually this age crisis is all about children or no children or not found someone to marry. 30 years is, for some reason, a cultural age limit, when it is expected an individual has matured enough to have settled down, married and had children. Or succeeded in work or achieved something.

For middle-life crisis the person is more mature, usually in his 40's or 50's, realizing the 'days of his youth' have gone. The crisis comes when he has difficulties accepting he is getting old.

These kind of age crises are more common in western cultures. In cultures, where there is no set (socially expected) time-limit for marriage or the society chooses for you, the crisis do not occur on certain exact age. So the age crisis is a cultural, not biomechanical thing.

Apart from these age crises, also any change in life can cause a crisis. Most often crisis-breakers are: the birth of a child, getting married, death of a loved one or loosing one's job, for example.

Crisis, put on short, is a 'figuring out how to accept this change and how to move forward'.

There are several steps, that occur when one goes through a crisis (just like in grief). They are:

• Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
• Anger (why is this happening to me?)
• Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
• Depression (I don't care anymore)
• Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

For a middle age crisis the ignition is the realization one is getting old. Maybe he found a wrinkle or a grey hair, maybe his ex-wife found a younger boyfriend. For women the ignition usually occurs on menopause.

The ignition: 'I am getting old'

Denial: he tries to proof himself he is not old, and starts doing things he enjoyed when he was young, or doing things that young people today do. The movies often descripe him buying a motorcycle. This stage can last from few months to couple of years.

Anger: This can vary from accidentally hurting oneself doing some extreme hobby, to literally beating oneself. The person is irritated and snappy, he does not want to accept getting old. Although it depends on the individual how this anger comes out, if at all.

Bargaining: for religious people this usually means bargaining with God. But bargaining can be more subtle, a pep-talk to oneself, promising oneself the situation is not as bad it seems, and can be overcome by a sacrifice of sorts. Like getting plastic surgery or starting to excercise or quit smoking.

Depression: Can last a few months or couple of years. Some people can never overcome depression. A person depresses when he/she realizes there is nothing she can do stop the change. When this realization comes, one can loose all hope and becomes passive, unable to enjoy life or take initiative.

Acceptance: When person finally accept the change is evitable and comes to terms with the change, feeling contempt with herself and her life as is.