How do you identify the playette?

Answer 1

First thing to remember is guy players are very different to girl players. In our society men are still considered the dominant sex, they tend to take care of themselves financially and emotionally, what they need is their sexual desires for-filled, so they will play women for sex. Female players will play guys to get different needs met, such as security or financial gain, or to feel desirable and attractive, and of course sex as well. Just as there are many different types of women, with different personality types, there are different types of playette, but there will be some common themes.

She will be very flirtatious, sometimes very openly, but often in a subtle or 'innocent' way, this usually depends on how open the guy is about his feelings towards her, or what the social setting is. She will give a guy signs of attraction without getting emotionally involved in him, this stops her getting attached, making it easier to drop him if he displease her or she looses interest.

She is very charming or beautiful, and usually has a high amount of sexual magnetism, which she uses to her advantage. There will be a lot of 'guy friends' in her life, usually much more in number than her female friends. These guys are usually men who have an interest in her sexually or romantically, and she keeps them around for various reasons, stringing them along with the hint that she likes them and will one day get with them. Some of these guys she uses for the favours or perks that they can give her (the most common and obvious example is flirting heavily with a guy all night whilst he buys her drinks, with no intention of seeing him again). Most of them she uses simply for validation or an ego boost so she feels attractive and wanted, and of course some of them she will sleep with.

She will always convey herself as available and interested in you sexually, and will usually lie or hide the other guys in her life if possible, or downplay her relationship with them, sometimes bad mouthing them to you making you believe you're her favourite and she's confiding in you, when of course she's doing the same with other guys. And of course she will sometimes use her other 'guy friends' to make you jealous depending on your relationship with her. In the dating world these guys are referred to as 'orbiters', and are usually guys who are inexperienced with women and don't have the balls to make a move for her or man up and walk away. So she keeps them hanging around until she's bored of them or they lose their usefulness. She will be sweet and charming to you until she's had enough, then you will see the mask slip and her 'true colours' will emerge, showing you that she doesn't really care at all. She knows she can get another guy any time she wants, and this will drive her philosophy towards attracting men.

It's also important to remember that a true playette is not a slut, and will not be sleeping around, some of them will be, but most of them will have only one or a few guys she's sleeping with, or she may even be in a monogamous relationship. This really depends on the type of girl she is, if she is a bit more reckless with life then she may engage in casual or risqué sex, one night stands etc, but this is not always the case.

She will be very good at connecting with guys on a superficial level without really getting to know them, which makes it easy for her to get her way or walk away without getting hurt.

Playettes are very skilled in mind games and dating games that create attraction, but are usually fairly poor at maintaining a steady relationship, as she gets bored easily, the thrill of the chase is what excites her.

Players of any gender usually have quite a selfish personality and outlook on life, it's all about them and what they can get for themselves. Lying is not a problem for them which usually comes in the form of exaggeration, often to create a specific persona or image of themselves that seems desirable to others.

It is important to note that it would take an extremely cold person to intentionally play someone, most playettes are that way because it's who they are, not because they are calculated or mean spirited. Usually there have been damaging relationships in their life, or romantic betrayal, or self esteem issues etc. Men find it easier to play women for sex because they can separate their emotions from it, women sometimes find this harder so they will keep their feelings separated by not getting involved in you emotionally at all.

This should be fairly easy to recognise and is the easiest way to spot a playette.

Does she flirt with you but refuse to date you or see you frequently?

Does she convey sexual/romantic interest without making any effort to get to know you or take things further?

Does she only check in with you when she wants something from you (maybe something as subtle as attention).

Does she have lots of 'guy friends' or 'orbiters', or flirt with lots of different guys?

Is she sleeping with you but not involving you in her life at all?

She's a playette.

The only way really to identify one is to get to know her, and observe how she behaves around other men. Even if she is very good at what she does the inconsistencies will emerge eventually.

They can be a lot of fun to be around, or to have a sexual relationship with, but what ever you do don't get attached, don't get sucked in to thinking you want to be with this girl, she will hurt you.

These are my observations after working with a playette on and off for about 3 years.

Answer 2

A playette is likely to display behaviors such as seeking attention from multiple partners, enjoying flirting without intent to commit, and maintaining a non-committal attitude towards relationships. They may prioritize their own enjoyment and freedom over emotional connections and commitment to others. This behavior pattern may suggest that someone is a playette.