How do you know when it's time to leave a relationship?

Answer 1

As soon as possible. Yesterday. Immediately. Why would you stay in abusive relationship another minute?

Immediately most of the time. If you talk to the abuser and they are willing to get help, it's up to you if you want to stay and try again, but the person has to be willing to get help and do it right away.

When you feel "dead" inside. The sooner the better though but sometimes people wait to hit rock bottom before realizing they have to leave the relationship.

You should leave the minute you are abused. My husband and I were having a verbal fight and he raised his fist and punched his hand towards my face. This really scared me so, I immediately moved out and we are separated. The moment he did that to me. I thought maybe next time it would be my face. Being that, I had experienced a physical abusive relationship in the past. I instantly flashed back to what happened. This is why left.

If you've tried to understand why he might be out of out control and impossible; (He's under a lot of stress, We all have our moments etc...) and you realize that your acceptance and understanding have been mistaken for permission to continue to disrespect and mistreat you. When he tells you that his anger and mistreatment are your fault. When you start avoiding your friends and relatives because you're so ashamed of yourself. When you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, but he won't forgive or understand you.

IMMEDIATELY - When we notice the first "Red Flag". Why would we want to take the abuse? Why would we want to waste any of our time being disrespected and treated like we aren't even human?

As soon as you noticed it was abusive, you should no longer be in that relationship. In other words, now.

When you're ready, trust your gut. This may sound insane, because the obvious answer is to get out as soon as possible; but if you're not ready to leave then you'll probably fall back into the abuser's grasp. Its happened to me. Your best bet is to start quietly separating yourself from them- disconnect your emotional state from theirs. Put away things they've given you, do anything that allows you to disassociate yourself from them so it is easier for you to leave. When you're out of the relationship, burn those things you hid. It makes things more final, and you'll be less likely to fall back on those things, or worse, your abuser for comfort.

I'd say, when you start asking questions like "how do you know when to leave an abusive relationship".

Answer 2

With the stress most people have to go through today there are bound to be things we yell out to each other that we shouldn't, but it's apologizing that matters. It's hard to tell what can be mental abuse, but there is absolutely no excuse for physical abuse. MENTAL ABUSE: Yelling/screaming constantly Picking apart everything you do Telling you what to wear, where to go and how to act Alienating you from family and friends Stalking you Questioning you about your day Suspicious of who you have been with or if you've had anyone over to your home Belittling you in front of your friends Keeping you totally isolated from the outside Is a perfectionist to the point of being irritating Tells you that you are lousy in bed, a rotten lover or, you can't cook, you'll never make it on the outside world. Abusers chip away at their victims. PHYSICAL ABUSE: Slapping, punching, kicking, throwing you against furniture or across the room Threatening they will harm you or kill you Threatening to harm your kids, your family or a friend Threatening to harm you if you should look at another man Threatening to harm you if you tell anyone about your problems between the two of you. Leaving you with scratches, welts, bruising, black eyes, missing teeth, fractured bones, broken bones. If you get lucky and he lets you go to the hospital he has you lie to the doctors and nurses by telling them you slipped going down the stairs, or some other excuse. What he doesn't know is doctors and nurses are much more well trained in this area now and are quite aware of abuse towards women and children. These are a few, but I think it's enough to help. If any of these are happening don't listen to his "I really love you and I'm so sorry. I'll never do it again." He will! It is time for you to realize this person is ill and needs professional help. A high percentage of abusers never seek out help for themselves. If you need help then go to your local Abused Women's Center where they will protect you, give you free legal counsel and therapy as well as medical help. They prefer you bring your children with you. Once you leave ... don't look back! If you can't find an Abused Women's Center in your area then contact your Mental Health and they will give you the phone #. Good luck God Bless Marcy

Answer 3

Boundaries are the key. You have them. You just have to heed them and you will know the answer to your question. I have done a lot of soul-searching on this one as in the beginning I wasn't sure if I was being abused or not. It started slow and escalated over time. In retrospect I know I let a lot of red flags go by, things that made me a little uncomfortable, yet I couldn't quite put a finger on it... Do you notice any of these things? Looking back, I realize certain things were clues. My ex showed no emotion on the news of the death of my father. He was unsympathetic to most every issue I had, yet his were always of great importance. I was expected to react accordingly. He had problems keeping a job. He was always putting his friends and associates down, yet was nice to their faces. Money and other things began to mysteriously disappear from my house. My ex was possessive and jealous. He had this weird philosophy about relationships...that it should be "us against the world." He pointed out things about my friends and associates that he felt were wrong, indecent, immoral and so forth. He wanted me to believe that he was the only one I could trust. He slowly decreased any physical affection and eventually withheld sex altogether. His temper, which was apparent from the beginning, became increasingly nasty and violent.There are lots of red flags that may start small.Some things are more obvious, of course, like name-calling, physical violence, sexual violence...MOVE ON IMMEDIATELY in this case. Never look back. I have learned now and have actually applied my new knowledge to a recent relationship. This new guy lost his temper and yelled at me.Called me nasty names for no reason. I dropped him then and there. In the past I might have asked him "Why did you do that? Can we work this out?" I have zero tolerance for some things now. This is because I have better boundaries. If things don't feel right, if it goes against your personal code of ethics, if it makes you afraid, worried, anxious, then it's probably abuse. Ask yourself, "How does this relationship make me feel, REALLY?" Good luck.

Answer 4

i know from past relationship that having an abusive relationship is not easy but there are no signs you can look out for or things you could do, if the person loves there partner you carnt do nothing i was in a abusive relationship and kind of still am but that's tough love for you

xxx

Answer 5

the way to tell if you are in an abusive relationship is if your partner is forcing you to do things that are harmful to your saftey, or dangerous. like things you dont want to do. so remember, being forceful, or hurting one another in a relationship is abusive. even if it is the smallest thing like a hit on the head becasue you said no, its still abusive..hope this helped

Answer 6

if you feel yourself avoiding him/her, or checking out other people. if you are reluctant to call

Answer 7

Well easy, are you being called names (not jokingly) or hit, punched ect? OR being told you have to prove your love by... or you might be consistantly being yelled at...