incompetence

Incompetence is a dystopian comedy novel by Red Dwarf co-creator Rob Grant. It was first published in 2003. It is a murder mystery and political thriller set in a federal Europe of the near-future where no-one can be "prejudiced from employment for reason of age, race, creed or incompitence ^[sic]".

Tag Line - Bad is the new good.

The novel tells the story of an undercover agent working for a secret Europe-wide agency. His real name remains a mystery but he commonly uses the pseudonym Harry Salt. The story starts with the apparent death of his former mentor (Klingferm) in an apparent elevator accident. He suspects foul play, and his investigations lead him around various states of Europe. In the course of these peregrinations, he seems to be tracked by an unknown stalker. He is also hindered by the fact that practically everyone he meets has a serious character flaw and/or mental deficiency. Another ongoing problem is his inability to acquire or hang onto a decent pair of shoes, primarily as all shoes in the "United States of Europe" are made of vegetable matter.

The concept behind the story is similar to that of Kurt Vonnegut's Harrison Bergeron.

The plot appears to be based on the film The Third Man. The film is mentioned in the drunken conversation between Salt and Klingferm near the start of the book.

Characters

• Harry Salt/Harry Tequila/Harry Pepper/Cardew Vascular: The main protagonist. Years of dealing with stupidity have left him somewhat cynical. One of the few characters who is not incompetent or mentally retarded.
• Klingferm: His former mentor and fellow agent. Later revealed to be an undercover American agent trying to interfere with the operation of Europe.
• Captain Zuccho: An Italian police captain who, by his own admission, sometimes becomes "a bit too frisky". Usually ending with him firing several rounds of his gun.
• Gina Pallister: A guest liaison who suffers from SIR (Sexually Inappropriate Response), and an object of Harry's lust.
• Mamma: An old woman who was widowed when the authorities declared her husband legally dead.
• Pappa: Mamma's (late) husband. A man who has to live in the shed because the house is just for the "living".
• Twinkle: A 100+ year old male lap dancer.
• Wolfie: A professional henchman with very bad breath.
• Dr Rutter: A coroner whose hobbies include stitching faces to the buttocks of cadavers.

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